Firstly, let me say that you are off to a great start by searching online for help and advice. Going through the emotional roller coaster of problems in your marriage is never easy and really can take its toll on you. The very fact that YOU are out there searching for help speaks volumes about you...
Ok, so your in that desperate position where you want to do whatever it takes to save your marriage. Good. I wont suger coat it for you, saving a marriage is hard work and will require you to confront some "home truths" about yourself. You have to be prepared to change yourself and make concesions. This sometimes can be a real revelation to people...that relationship failure is never just down to one partner.
At this stage, the best advice I can give you isto stear clear of advice from family and friends...as much as they love you, they all are biased when it comes to your marriage and any form of counselling that they are likely to offer is probably tainted with their own opinions. So your best bet is to try and get some professional help.
I know that for me, i dispised going to see a counsellor because of the "stigma" attached with going to a shrink. I was working in a job field that required stability and these sorts of visits were definitely looked down upon. So I pretty much did what you have done and went and searched for help online.
Luckily, I did manage to track down a book that helped me sit down and work things out with my wife. it had a fair amount of content in there that opened my eyes to some of the failure that I wassetting us up for. It was actually a bit crushing to realised that I was a big part of this breakdown.
Anyway, feel free to take a look at the book I found and ask any questions you might like. It might sound a bit lame...but this thing really did help me a lot!!!
Online Marriage Counselling